All Souls is an invitation to be inspired by the lives of, or seek healing for the wounds in our relationships, with the faithful departed

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All Souls is an invitation to be inspired by the lives of, or seek healing for the wounds in our relationships, with the faithful departed

Thirty-first Sunday in Ordinary Time – November 2, 2025

Today we celebrate the Feast of All Souls (Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed).  It’s slightly different from the Feast of All Saints, which celebrates the saints whom we believe are already in heaven, and ask them to intercede for us.

On All Souls, however, we remember and pray for the souls of those who have died, especially those who might still be in purgatory.  The primary purpose of remembering all the faithful departed is an act of charity: we pray for them and ask God to have mercy on them for any sin they committed: to help them through that purifying, painful encounter with the Risen Christ: like the pain we always feel when we sincerely reconcile with someone we have offended.

Since the 900’s AD, we’ve come together in a community celebration every 2nd Nov. because some of the faithful departed have no one to pray for them; and some of us may not feel like praying for all of them!  We may still be angry: but what we lack, the community makes up.

Yes, if we are honest, some of us, with some of our deceased family and friends, can feel a sense that old wounds were not healed, issues were not closed before death.
So, our celebration, as a community, reminds us that we are part of something bigger, greater, and a place where I am able to find healing even if the person we need to reconcile is gone.

The healing comes in four ways, even if it comes slowly:
1. Through sharing – with someone trustworthy – our pain, anger, bitterness and disappointment in our parent, sibling or (former?) friend, or even a religious person;

  1. Through the Sacraments of the Church: especially Eucharist and Reconciliation;
    3. Through the Sacred Scriptures: they encourage us, but they also challenge us to recognise my own failings towards other people, helping me have compassion on those who hurt me; and
    4. Through the organised church groups that serve or minister to others.

This idea of service is nicely reflected by Pope Francis as he responded to questions from the youth in Kenya (2015): One last question of “theologian” Manuel:  What words do you have for young people who have not experienced love in their own families?  Is it possible to come out of this experience?  … This is why the family is so important; defend the family, defend it always.  Not only are there abandoned children everywhere but also abandoned elderly who are alone, with no one visiting them; no one who loves them.

How can one come out of this negative experience of estrangement and lack of love?  There is only one remedy to come out of these experiences: to do what oneself has not received.  If you haven’t received understanding, be understanding with others, if you haven’t received love, love others; if you have felt the pain of loneliness, approach those that are alone; flesh is healed with flesh and God became flesh to heal us.  …we must do the same with others.

Today as we open our hearts to pray for those who have passed, it is OK to feel your anger but, over and above the feelings of anger or resentfulness, CHOOSE to say to God with our head:

I want to forgive you, and I want you to forgive me also.  If we say it enough times, for long enough, our heart will begin to believe it, internalise it and, finally, accept it.

This process mirrors the beginning of the Gospel: 37 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I shall not turn him away; … 39 Now the will of him who sent me is that I should lose nothing of all that he has given to me,…

When we express the words of desire for healing/ forgiveness, even if expressed with a certain bitterness, it is like our coming back to God; to Jesus.  Think of a car journey and Dad takes a wrong turn.  He doesn’t like admitting he has made a mistake (male ego! Ha, ha), but eventually, even with annoyance, he admits it is the wrong way and turns back.

As he turns back, there is more muttering and blaming of someone, or the map, or “where was the bip-bip-bip sign?”.  But after a few miles, a cup of coffee and a nice sweet to chew on, the mood changes, and nice words appear: the wrong turn is forgotten and even laughed about later.

So, too, for those with unresolved issues with our deceased family or friends, etc.  Make a stand, admit we are on the wrong road to happiness and turn around: not necessarily with joy, but even with anger is OK: the important thing is to say: Dad/ Mum/ brother/ friend, I want to forgive you: I want to understand what pain you were carrying, a pain that I never took time to care about or help you find healing for: I forgive you, please forgive me.

That is a genuine heartfelt pray, even if said without enthusiasm; but, because you desire good for them (=true love), it builds a deeper understanding of yourself and Jesus.
And the payoff is healing and peace: in this way, the faithful departed somehow minister to us still: either as a means to grow in compassion, or a means to grow in charity as we reflect on the sacrifices they made for us.  May our sisters and brothers rest in eternal peace.

By Gerard Conlan, OMI