Dancing With the Spirit
Over the past year I have been reminded many times of my relationship with the Spirit! This is something that began a long time ago but that I do not always focus on or am aware of. She does not usually wait for fanfare to join me but occasionally she lights up my life with immense wonder and awe – like a never-ending fireworks display that fills the heavens. But always she is there. I am often quite shy and she is incredibly gentle and patient – never loud or pushy – she whispers and cajoles and sometimes she invites me to take a step and join in her dance.
For the past year I have been involved with the Oblate Studies program which requires total involvement for my part as I get to know Eugene de Mazenod and the Mazenodian Family in a whole new way. And it is with these studies that I am also coming to know my own self much better – reflecting and sharing my heart and spirit with some of the other students, The courses are online so interaction is through the Student Forum, and I am learning to express myself, to give words and voice to who I am and what I see in others.
These Oblate Studies are setting the stage for my life, giving me context. Last weekend in one of our forum assignments I mentioned that these courses are for me a “St. Sulpice” as I thought of all that Eugene de Mazenod gained while at the Sulpician seminary – his deepening and strengthening, his responding and his finding a voice to speak with. I realized that I too am deepening, learning how to go deeper and to know the values, the lifestyles and living in a particular spirit. Even these words are a part of my learning, and so until I get my own I borrow them from our professor, Fr. Frank Santucci, OMI. They give me a starting point as I learn to express myself, express who I am as a member of the Mazenodian Family, who I am ‘becoming’ and how much I want to be able to share all of this once I am done. It is like a pulse – growing stronger, a heart-beat from within me – mine but coming from others.
Last year I took two courses – both of them foundational: the first one was titled “Eugene de Mazenod; History, Spirituality and Mission” and the second one was titled “Founders, Charisms and their expression in Constitutions and Rules”. In the first I learned about how Eugene came to the love the Church as he did and how this seemed to find voice within him during his time at the Sulpician Seminary. I learned to look more deeply, to reflect more deeply on all that he experienced and how he shared that, lived that. My relationship with him changed – it deepened and so too did my love for him and for the members of the family that he brought together. I made friends with men like Blessed Joseph Girard, OMI, and with others that we were introduced to over the seven month period of the course. Eugene shared his gifts, his love through his sons and daughters, some who live now and others who are with us in heart and spirit. I was grateful for the break so that I had time to allow all that I was receiving to become a part of me – to take up residence within me.
It was not different in the second course which started in January, except that it felt much more intensive to me than the first (which was still running). I learned about, saw with the eyes of my heart the graces that are given to a Superior General and how it is the Spirit, and the spirit of the Congregation that speaks through him. I learned about General Chapters and how they worked and again – yes the Oblates took part – intimately took part but the conductor was the Holy Spirit. It was the Holy Spirit over the years helping them, working in and through the members of the Congregation – it was she who kept it relevant. Only God could ordain such a way of life for ongoing existence – a family which would continue to share and grow in and with that original gift of the charism. It was so very inspiring that I have not yet found all the words to describe it – all the steps of the movement of the music.
And the seduction continued as we delved into The Preface and the Constitutions and Rules – and again it was not just the words or little laws to live by. As I began to pray with them – I began also to understand how Eugene himself said that he did not recognize himself as the author for it could only have been the Holy Spirit. The Spirit working in, with and through Eugene, through the founding community and ongoing members of the Mazenodian Family. To my eyes, to my heart these are all the steps of the Holy Spirit for again how could man or woman bring such a process about? And there were other members of the Mazenodian Family, called to share in that charism, that same spirit; we were invited to listen to the notes of music and learn new steps so that the dance might continue to grow wider and deeper.
Two weeks ago we began a new course – and new variation to the dance we had performed last year. “Mazenodian Spirituality” is the name of the course and in it we are discovering on our journey the spirit, the spirituality coming from the charism; held by the Church shared with us. It is all connected, just as we are all connected. The conductor of it all – the Spirit. The Spirit who allows the professor to conduct, to guide us with new steps, to explain their movement and flow – and those of the music – sometimes soft and gentle but then becoming brilliant, magnificent – like fireworks in the heavens that leave us filled with wonder and awe. Shards and slivers of light shed by Eugene on each of us as we move across the dance floor – steps that are intimate and yet shared with others.
These are the notes, the music and lyrics that are being played for us as we learn and as we begin to join the dance. The Spirit – the one who whispers in my heart and inspires me. I am reminded of what Frank’s friend Philip Sheldrake said “a spiritual person (see 1 Cor 2, 14-15) was simply someone within whom the Spirit of God dwelt or who lived under the influence of the Spirit of God.”[1] I am learning to live under the influence of the Spirit and dancing with her.
“Dancing With The Spirit” with music and lyrics by Oblate Studies. This is not a show to sit down and enjoy, or to write a review on – it is the real thing – to join in and take part in – personally and communally. My steps are sometimes hesitant and stumbling but as I go along I find myself weaving in and out and around and with the other dancers – each of us somehow with the Spirit who has become our partner. There are moments of grace and moments of gratitude. My reflections are rich, as rich as any of the music coming from the orchestra.
The Spirit began it, Eugene helped pen the lyrics and the score as given to him and then one-by-one invited each of us over the years to join in, share the steps and imagine new ones. Inviting others to join us as we allow the music and the dance to express that which we are unable to do on our own.
By Eleanor Rabnett, Provincial Associate
[1] Philip Sheldrake – Spirituality: A Brief History, Chapter 1.
