Forgiving God

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Forgiving God

As many of you know my co-author and I published a book, Forgiveness: Breaking Free and Moving On.  We had a very successful book launch several weeks ago.  Afterwards one of my colleagues came up and asked me what I would say to someone who needed to forgive God.  In the book we had addressed being angry at God but forgiving God is another issue.  The question might seem like hearsay to many as our faith tells us that God forgives us for our sins; God has done nothing that would require Him to ask for our forgiveness.

While theologically true, many people still feel hurt and believe God is responsible for the pain they are feeling. Some see God as punishing them for their choices while others are hurt that God apparently failed to protect them or someone they loved from some accident or medical condition. They have been told that God is all-powerful and loves all – yet does not step in when innocent people suffer.  Many books have been written about this spiritual dilemma.  The most well known book is When Bad things happen to Good People is a 1981 book by Harold Kushner, The book is dedicated to the memory of his young son, Aaron, who died at the age of 14 in 1977 of an incurable genetic disease. There have been others books written about God and the place of suffering in our world; each trying to explain suffering in our world and God’s seemingly indifference to it.

Well meaning and supposedly comforting but banal sayings such as “Don’t worry, God doesn’t give us anything we cannot handle” It is neither helpful nor true. Such statements have the opposite hardly addressing the person’s pain.

To minister to people who are angry at God, one has to first recognize that this situation is not a theological issue.    It is a pastoral issue.  Ask people who are in a long-term loving relationship about whether they have always felt love for their partner.  Most will admit there were times when they loved their partner but did not necessarily like their partner.  Parents will admit to loving their children but not always liking them when they act out.  The point here is that our relationship with God is like all our relationships.  There will be times when we will be at odds with God.  God is able to handle our anger and disbelief.

In our efforts to be helpful to someone who is angry at God, we walk away from one of our greatest strengths. It is ironic that we speak of God as omnipotent, the Saviour, and Creator; and yet on the two major Christian feast days Jesus is portrayed at Christmas as a defenseless baby born in a stable while at Easter we have Jesus naked and executed between two criminals.  Jesus was vulnerable and yet we rarely speak of his vulnerability.  It is ironic that his most significant, salvific actions were done within his vulnerability.

Yes, there will be people who will become stuck, seemingly unable to move on towards healing.  I suggest this is more of a grieving issue rather than a faith issue.  In either case being vulnerable, being present to these individuals may be the best way to cooperate with the Spirit.  Being with someone who is angry at God requires us to authentically live our own vulnerability.  Perhaps then there is the rub!  Being vulnerable is risky and likely to be misunderstood and seen as ineffectual.  Yet, maybe this is what ministry is about.  Are the people of God asking us for answers or are they asking us to be vulnerable with them?  Remember, Jesus seldom answered a question directly but encouraged his listeners to reflect further.  I suspect the people of God are looking for answers, and also asking us to be present and vulnerable with them in their most vulnerable moments.

By Peter Doherty, OMI