The Power of a Blessing, and our Power to Bless
The teachings of Ron Rolheiser, my recent involvement with the men’s movement through Richard Rohr, and a recent retreat experience, has led me to reflect on the significance of male spirituality for us Oblates.
What I experienced was the power of a blessing by an elder, and our power to bless.
To bless – benedicere – is, of course, to speak well of another, to affirm that other. Most often, we take that for granted, don’t appreciate it enough, and allow it to operate under our radar screen. The men’s movement has changed that for me.
The archetypal male energy forms are warrior, lover, magus and king. Boys are born to be warriors, to compete, get to the top, but if they stay on that path too long, they run the danger of becoming bitter old fools. Boys need initiation rites to force them to descend, learn to relate more deeply, pray more sincerely, and finally become elders, wise old men, kings, who can bless younger men.
Last fall, I was invited by the late John Brioux to lead a retreat for the BC/Yukon district at Mission, BC. It rained every day except for a few hours one afternoon that allowed us to visit the Oblate cemetery, pray for our deceased Oblates, and especially, visit John’s grave.
I was surprised that Archbishop Emeritus Adam Exner attended the retreat, and a bit intimidated. Adam was my spiritual director and professor, and at age 93, was going to take this somewhat unusual retreat based on my book Walk A New Path that dealt with addictions awareness, the 12 Step program and addressed issues such as forgiveness, grieving, healing and of all things, even touched on human sexuality. How would he accept all this, I wondered?
Actually, during my presentations, I was surprised at how many times I referred to something Adam had taught me over the years: my need to work on my relationship with my father, getting in touch with God’s unconditional love for me through Isaiah 43:1-4, my need to fail miserably at something and still be accepted by the people in my first mission, to lower my expectations, take a 30 day retreat before ordination, and discipleship as a carbon copy of Jesus, to name a few items.
What really got to me, however, was his comment in the thank you card given to me by Garry LaBoucane at the end: “The student has surpassed the master – am proud of you.”
I was stopped in my tracks, shocked, stunned, almost disbelieving what I read. But there it was: “The student has surpassed the teacher – am proud of you.” Then other feelings flooded in like a tsunami: I felt lifted up, energized, empowered, appreciated, loved, speechless, transported to a higher level …. in the end, blessed! It was so true – what Rolheiser and Rohr have been teaching all along – the need to bless and be blessed, and now I felt the power of that blessing.
Adam for me at that moment was truly an elder, a wise old man, a king, an older bishop who could humbly step aside, bless a younger bishop, and help that younger bishop be more generative. I felt grateful beyond words, and when invited to write something for our web page, compelled to write this as a tribute to Adam, and also as an invitation for us as Oblate priests and brothers, even when we are young (who are nevertheless given the status and bearing of elders because of our role as religious and as priests), to bless, empower, affirm others, help them be generative, and in that humble stance, find our joy.
By Sylvain Lavoie, OMI
