Promoting ourselves leads to depression … promoting others creates joy
Welcome to the Third Sunday of Advent – with the theme of JOY. When you are often happy, this is a great theme we can relate to. However, for many people suffering depression or a life-long struggle with low self-esteem, the theme of joy can be like a sick joke.
This is where ordinary Christians make a big impact revealing the presence of God for the depressed among us. The First Reading from Isaiah is almost an instruction book:
declare a year of favour: bind up hearts, proclaim liberty, set (prisoners) free.
And how should we start? By being people “exulting for joy!” Too often, Christians are boring, too serious and not much fun. No wonder the youth are attracted to naughty people down at the hotel or rave parties. We are born to be alive and joyful.
And, the pay-off for us making the effort to be joyful, is that we will rarely experience depression or low self-esteem: we will be able to find hope even in difficult times.
Low self-esteem is now a common affliction among many people in the world. This is especially so in many children, youth and younger adults. Because of that, there is an increase in depression, drugs, suicide and competitive behaviour.
In the past, low self-esteem was not uncommon, however, our culture used community activities, the Church, a strict school life, etc. to promote healthy self-esteem.
One example: Mazenod College in the first 10 years, after starting in 1966, was heavily focused on sport and academics. But many youths are not natural sportsmen. In the mid-1970’s other activities were introduced: drama (acting), music & singing, and mind games such as chess.
The combination of all of these activities dramatically improved the self-esteem of more boys, and helped them overcome low self-esteem, especially those from dysfunctional families. But, today, something else is needed to overcome the changes in our societies and cultures: a more self-centred and individualistic culture.
How are good catholic Schools addressing this challenge? Let me take an example from a great Jesuit College in Sydney, Australia: the College had a “tough” culture. So the Jesuits made a policy that all Dads had to do 40 hours of approved community service with their sons. This was a school of wealthy families, so the policy was not well received – initially!! Student self-esteem increased and strengthened many father-son relationships.
One of the negatives of low self-esteem is the need for self-promotion in the hope that other people will praise us and confirm that we are brilliant! Unfortunately, this pushes us further away from the goal of learning to love ourselves: we become dependent on others =slavery.
One of the challenges of life is to celebrate and, in fact, promote the virtues and talents of other people. Parents sometimes make this more difficult by not giving good correction.
When we leave home, we enter an often hostile world which doesn’t care about us. The world doesn’t revolve around us, we revolve around the world. This is particularly tough for young people to make as they transition into adulthood through that difficult period of puberty and separation from parents.
Someone once commented that the embarrassments that happen during puberty, especially for boys, is a necessary humiliation we must endure to teach us: we are not better than others.
It’s a bit like life: up to age 40, we are programmed and indeed it’s necessary, that we achieve happiness by doing and acquiring many things to build up a stable life: psychologically/ spiritually/ materially. Fr Richard Rohr OFM calls this the first half of life.
But, after age 40 (or thereabouts), doing & acquiring material things, or receiving awards and titles of seniority, no longer give the joy we experienced as younger people.
So, where does true joy come from after age 40 or 50? Fr Richard Rohr says we must give it all away! This is the second half of life.
To focus on uplifting others and enjoying their transformation and success.
This is demonstrated well by John the Baptist: every reference to him in John’s Gospel is a reference where he is reducing himself in order to promote Jesus Christ.
In spite of criticism – which all of us receive at times – John the Baptist never loses hope, or suffe
Welcome to the Third Sunday of Advent – with the theme of JOY. When you are often happy, this is a great theme we can relate to. However, for many people suffering depression or a life-long struggle with low self-esteem, the theme of joy can be like a sick joke.
This is where ordinary Christians make a big impact revealing the presence of God for the depressed among us. The First Reading from Isaiah is almost an instruction book:
declare a year of favour: bind up hearts, proclaim liberty, set (prisoners) free.
And how should we start? By being people “exulting for joy!” Too often, Christians are boring, too serious and not much fun. No wonder the youth are attracted to naughty people down at the hotel or rave parties. We are born to be alive and joyful.
And, the pay-off for us making the effort to be joyful, is that we will rarely experience depression or low self-esteem: we will be able to find hope even in difficult times.
Low self-esteem is now a common affliction among many people in the world.
This is especially so in many children, youth and younger adults.
Because of that, there is an increase in depression, drugs, suicide and competitive behaviour.
In the past, low self-esteem was not uncommon, however, our culture used community activities, the Church, a strict school life, etc. to promote healthy self-esteem.
One example: Mazenod College in the first 10 years, after starting in 1966, was heavily focused on sport and academics. But many youths are not natural sportsmen. In the mid-1970’s other activities were introduced: drama (acting), music & singing, and mind games such as chess.
The combination of all of these activities dramatically improved the self-esteem of more boys, and helped them overcome low self-esteem, especially those from dysfunctional families. But, today, something else is needed to overcome the changes in our societies and cultures: a more self-centred and individualistic culture.
How are good catholic Schools addressing this challenge? Let me take an example from a great Jesuit College in Sydney, Australia: the College had a “tough” culture. So the Jesuits made a policy that all Dads had to do 40 hours of approved community service with their sons.
This was a school of wealthy families, so the policy was not well received – initially!!
Student self-esteem increased and strengthened many father-son relationships.
One of the negatives of low self-esteem is the need for self-promotion in the hope that other people will praise us and confirm that we are brilliant! Unfortunately, this pushes us further away from the goal of learning to love ourselves: we become dependent on others =slavery.
One of the challenges of life is to celebrate and, in fact, promote the virtues and talents of other people. Parents sometimes make this more difficult by not giving good correction.
When we leave home, we enter an often hostile world which doesn’t care about us. The world doesn’t revolve around us, we revolve around the world. This is particularly tough for young people to make as they transition into adulthood through that difficult period of puberty and separation from parents.
Someone once commented that the embarrassments that happen during puberty, especially for boys, is a necessary humiliation we must endure to teach us: we are not better than others.
It’s a bit like life: up to age 40, we are programmed and indeed it’s necessary, that we achieve happiness by doing and acquiring many things to build up a stable life: psychologically/ spiritually/ materially. Fr Richard Rohr OFM calls this the first half of life.
But, after age 40 (or thereabouts), doing & acquiring material things, or receiving awards and titles of seniority, no longer give the joy we experienced as younger people.
So, where does true joy come from after age 40 or 50?
Fr Richard Rohr says we must give it all away! This is the second half of life.
To focus on uplifting others and enjoying their transformation and success.
This is demonstrated well by John the Baptist: every reference to him in John’s Gospel is a reference where he is reducing himself in order to promote Jesus Christ.
In spite of criticism – which all of us receive at times – John the Baptist never loses hope, or suffers depression. He has a Mission, and that empowers him to be full of life.
What’s our Mission? If we live only for ourselves, expect depression to come soon.
When we live to promote others, life will have meaning and lots of joy.
rs depression. He has a Mission, and that empowers him to be full of life.
What’s our Mission? If we live only for ourselves, expect depression to come soon.
When we live to promote others, life will have meaning and lots of joy.
By Gerard Conlan, OMI
