We remember each other
“Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Years ago at a retreat I was attending, the presenter broke open those poignant words in a way I have never forgotten. It’s a plea for the ages and one that haunts me in my everyday dealings.
It goes this way: “Generally speaking,” the presenter stated, “when we use the word ‘remember,’ we are talking about an act of our memory. We are trying to recall to mind something that we have forgotten. Remembering is a ‘head thing,’ as we bring a thought, person, or thing that we once knew back into our conscious minds.”
She suggested a different image, placing the word ‘remember’ in juxtaposition with the word ‘dismember.’ While it is a bit of a grisly image, stay with me for a moment. To dis-member something is to take it apart, to break it into separate pieces. When we dismember something, we literally cut it off. To ‘re-member’ in this context is to take what was dis-membered, cut off, and bring it back into unity. What was separated becomes one again.
Take the good thief, suspended between heaven and earth, next to his only chance of salvation, the mysterious holy man named Jesus. He pleads, “Jesus, remember me.” It is surely more than just asking Jesus, when he arrives in heaven, to think of him; more than Jesus remarking to Gabriel, “Hey, remember that guy hanging at my left side, what was his name?”
No, the good thief wants to be re-membered. Here he is, ending his life dis-membered, as a criminal cast out of community, alone, despised, rejected. As the cut-off one, he believes Jesus can bring him into community, into longed-for relationship and unity. The good news is that Jesus can and does do just that: “Today you will be with me in Paradise.” It’s the deeper promise: “You will no longer be an outcast, alone and lonely, you will be with me. I will re-member you.”
It is this deeper meaning that calls to me. My experience of our Oblate community these past months has opened my eyes to the longing we have for our community juxtaposed with the painful reality that many of us feel ‘dis-membered’ from it. If, like me, you participated in the synodal conversations held over ZOOM in the Fall and Winter, you heard the stories. To be sure, many spoke of the joy and support they felt in their community, whether it be belonging to a BOC or with other Oblates and Associates. But a significant portion of our membership spoke of the pain arising from their experiences of community. Misunderstandings, poor communication, personality conflicts; a lack of hospitality: there were a myriad of reasons why people felt alienated and cut off from the group. As Oblates and Associates made themselves vulnerable by sharing their stories of feeling cut off, I heard the pleas, “Remember me.”
The amazing thing is that we have it within our power to re-member others. It starts with the awareness that wholeness and unity is what God desires for us, and that the loss of one is a loss to the whole Body. That awareness is what moves us to reach out and invite those separated from us back into relationship. It is also our motivation to do the work required to heal the separation. On both sides, maybe, we move from head to heart, bringing our willingness to listen and our courage to admit mistakes.
A phone call, an email, a ZOOM visit, it really doesn’t matter how it starts. The important thing is that we begin. It might be a good Lenten practice for each of us: “Who in my life needs to be re-membered? How might I do that?” In all cases, it helps to recall that we have a hidden partner, a God who is Relationship and Unity. The good thief’s plea, slightly amended, is our prayer: “Jesus, re-member us,” because, truth be told, we re-member each other and our OMI Lacombe Oblate family is stronger when we are together.
By Sandra Prather, HOMI
